Magic Lotion.

Common wisdom advises that one should never go to the grocery store when hungry. Inevitably you come home with a lot more than you need, and mostly junk food that promises to feed the craving of the moment, meaning more munchies than milk and eggs. I might append that counsel with the admonishment that when you’re suffering any sort of physical pain, keep thyself out of the pharmacy aisles. Anything that promises to restore and soothe those aching, torqued muscles gets a free ride in your cart right up to the check-out.

Tonight I was cruising through the aisles of one of the least delightful locales on the planet (Wal-Mart) and I happened into the lotion aisle. I had no business being there as I have been burned by bad Wal-Mart lotion in the past (all sweet smells and no business), but something beckoned me on. A plastic bottle filled with green cream and labeled THERAPY, caught my eye. Huh. “Muscle Relief Lotion,” it promised. Interesting. I unscrewed the top for a whiff. Nice.  Very nice. Juniper, sage, and wintergreen. Wow. There was no price tag (typical), but I decided to roll the dice anyways.  But not before I was cajoled into grabbing a ginormous bag of relief-promising, aromatherapy oil-infused Epsom salts.

The aromatherapy Epsom salts are still under investigation, as I couldn’t get bathwater that was hot enough for me to want to stay in it very long at all. But I did give the lotion a go and I must report, this lotion is magic lotion. Immediately my skin started tingling and the sensations took off swinging back and forth between warm and heated to cool and icy. Strange but wonderful, and my muscles actually do feel remarkably better. Ice is nice, but this lotion is better at twice the price.

Made by The Village Company, I recommend you go to the website (here) as you’ll probably never find it at another Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart’s distribution has never approximated any semblance of regularity or uniformity. And don’t bother asking anyone because no one will have ever heard of it or seen it. Just seek this one out on your own.

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