I haven’t done any formal studies on this, but I think I’m in the minority when I say that I really love living in hotels. Notice I say living, not staying. I’m territorial with a vengeance, so short of marking my own territory in the traditional canine sense, let’s just say I really know how to make myself at home.
My general philosophy is “home is where I’ve unpacked my suitcase.” Even though every girl fell in love with the book Eloise, I find that most people are always talking about how excited they are to get home. Why? So I can go back to opening my mail, doing laundry, and cleaning my own bathroom? No thanks. I remember being in Israel last year and people were drooling on about how much they missed the United States, and macaroni and cheese. Sacrilege. You had to crowbar me out of the Promised Land.
I’m not big into luxury hotels—that’s not necessary, but there are a few elements that make a hotel a delightful home.
-Wifi. A necessity. Charging for it is so ten years ago, Motel 6.
-Mini-fridge not stocked with overpriced rubbish I don’t want (also very 90’s). I just want the space.
-A French press and coffee grinder (I’ve yet to find this)
-Cupboards (I have to hand it to the Hampton Inn in Lawrenceville GA—other than having a really piss-poor breakfast bar, they really knew how to set you up. Practically a kitchen in each room. I’d live there. And then make some unsolicited suggestions to the kitchen staff.)
-A good breakfast spread with plain Greek yogurt, fresh berries, hardboiled eggs (peeled!) and a DIY espresso bar. Props Grace Hotel NYC, I’ll make myself at home with you later this summer.
-Massive bathroom counter space.
-Large desk with comfortable chair (score again Hampton Inn). It’s not home if I can’t work there. And it doesn’t matter what the purpose of my trip. Could be my honeymoon—I want a desk, chair, and Wifi.
-Brand-name bathroom products. Holiday Inn Express in South Bend, Indiana had Bath & Body Works products. Brilliant. I mean, who knows what’s in those blue shampoos, and soap that turns your hands to sandpaper? C’mon.
-Windows that open. That shouldn’t be as hard to come by as it is.